Daniel Fast: Day One Reflection

          I am truly excited about what God has begun to do in my life! Today, I started my first day of the Daniel Fast for the next 21 days. I am seeking to become closer to God and to know Him on a deeper level. I also want to get rid of the distractions that have been hindering my relationship with God. I particularly want to be free from letting the approval and opinions of others dictate how I see myself in God. I am looking to be purified through the holy spirit and to allow God to work on the inner core of my being so that my will and plan for my life will align with his.

            I was reading T.D. Jakes’ book, Instinct, and it encouraged me to really begin thinking about my inborn desires and innate characteristics that are within. Something that really resonated was that I felt God showing me that I am a student of life. Growing up, I was attached to Iyanla Vanzant, Maya Angelou, and Sister Souljah. I would read these authors and inspirational speakers, in my spare time, ever since I was a young teenager. Their stories of strength gave me hope that I too could overcome the adversity of my life. I admired their compassion for humanity and the way that they allow their God given motivations to lead them unto a path less traveled.

            I have found that much of my purpose lies in the self-discovery and self- improvement books that I was drawn to at such as an early age.  I have been tested through various experiences and diverse environments, which was preparing me for my later role as a “Teacher of Life.” I believe that God allowed me to go through so many diverse experiences and seasons in my life so that various individuals can relate to my story. I though WOW, I am not really sure what one does as a teacher of life, but I can bet that it has something to do with coaching, supporting, and motivating individuals to be their best selves. I’ve always felt overly concerned when I see a friend or loved one not living the vibrant and interesting dynamics of life that I believe Jesus died on the cross to give us.

             While some experiences in my life were God driven and some were not, I have always thrived on various experiences and being flexible in my approach to life and my goals. This approach has not always led to outcomes that I wanted, But God was there all along developing the independent, risk taking nature that I inherently have so that when he called me to step out on faith I was already prepared because of my natural adventurous and innovative personality. I was not afraid to step out on faith as long as I looked "normal: to people. Here is where the enemy has attacked me—my desire to win the hearts of man.
 I was okay with doing what God called me to do in private, but when it came time to really being transparent and consecrated from everyone--- my friends and the “random” guys that I talked on and off, I did not want to appear as trying to be holier than thou. Naturally, God has been moving me away from a lot of the social scenes that I was so heavily devoted, i.e. Facebook, texting, going out, etc He’s also changed my attitude about these things. My desire for those things was motivated by the wrong attitude so I needed to step away from them until my heart was right before God. This is key. We can do things that seem good for the wrong reasons. It’s okay to have friends but you have to examine your heart for your motive and their motive. If it’s not to grow in God, then you may have to lose the closeness of that relationship. You may or may not have to completely give up that person, but either way you feel different toward them. That’s a sign of growth and spiritual maturity.

            Over the next few weeks, I plan to really allow God to change me and work on the areas of my life that are not like him. I cast down the idols in my life and everything that I find more important than God and cast it into the sea never to return. My inner being needs God more than people, things, degrees, jobs, etc. I want to step out on faith and truly be independent, bold, fearless, and faithful to my maker, king, husband, friend, counselor, etc. the list could go on. I may never have the time that I have now to truly devote to God. So while I am on this winter break from law school, I want to use this time to Fast and get serious about my walk with God. I can’t run to what I once knew. I am also not strong enough to just casually sit idle, so I must be intentional and determined to go after the thing that God is doing in my life, in this moment, in this season. God Bless!